My Weekend Fling: Hex, Season 1 (2)

In the perfect storm of my life falling apart and my sucker-hood for the fantasy/sci-fi genera, I watched THE WORST SHOW EVER! No joke, terrible.

Hex is supposedly about Cassie, a student at a private boarding school, who is a descendent of a woman who through voodoo gave bodily form to the fallen angel Azezeal. Apparently, his body is wearing out (or something) so he needs to sacrifice Cassie’s best friend Thelma, because her love for Cassie will make the sacrifice pure. Thelma returns as a ghost who can touch everything but people, and is visible to Cassie and the demons. Okay, then Cassie becomes possessed by having sex with the guy she is into (who Azezeal has possessed in a very Wrath of Kahn way) and then she does it with his demon-ness, but then she claims that she is actually in love with Azezeal. Oh yeah, and then she gets pregnant, which she tries to abort, but the doctor is convinced by the baby-daddy to save the magically super-growing baby (hi 4th book of Twilight, how ya doing?). Ella, an immortal witch/demon hunter, shows up to kill the baby, but accidentally kills Cassie. Thelma sticks around to help Ella find the baby, but Azezeal and his demon buddy drive Ella crazy with memories of her torture and trial for witchcraft hundreds of years before.

I am not making this up. I am sad for the person who did.

First of all, those who are inclined to say that British TV is always superior to American are forever proven wrong by the existence of this show. There are many many British shows that are fantastic, but this isn’t one of them.

Second of all, is Azezeal the only name aside from Lucifer that anyone knows for one of the fallen angels? This dude is freaking everywhere; in a comic my friend Emily told me about, in Supernatural (we found out in S3 that that is the name of the “Yellow Eyed Demon” who made Sam all bad-blooded), and now he is here. He is one tramp-tastic demon. At least on SPN his main goal wasn’t to get laid.

Thirdly, and less nit-picky ranting, these were some of the most wooden and unrealistic characters I have ever seen. At no point when all of these creepy and ridiculous things are happening does anyone say anything remotely natural in reaction. No tears, no concern, no even “this is kind of strange.” Everyone just kind of goes along, talking to ghosts, doing demons, having nightmares. Plus, these characters were not just fake and slim they were boring. There was nothing interesting about them. I think the show creators where trying to go for a moody/brooding vibe, but they failed. I can accept preposterous storylines, even enjoy them very much, as long the characters are layered and organic. Again, massive fail.

Fourth, the pacing and tone were all over the map. In each episode huge “mysteries” were revealed, but nothing ever seemed to happen. So much time was wasted on mist filled shots of the school and the grounds, but there seemed to be no time to actually explain what was happening. Teen dating angst were somehow equivalent to world-ending offspring. You had no idea what you were going to get one scene to another.

Just terrible. Not the campy kind of fun terrible, just the time wasting kind.

I will say one good thing for this show. The theme/opening credit song was “#1 Crush” by Garbage, which I adore. It was such a moment of hope when the first episode started, but it turned out to be the only redeeming moment of each episode.

AVOID THIS SHOW AT ALL COSTS.

The TV Girl