Making the world a better place, one show at a time.

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I guess you would like to know a little bit about the person making all these proclamations upon good taste and horrid characters. I'm Andrea and when I was 15 I fell in love. An hour after meeting "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" I was forever altered in the way only love can, and I never questioned for one minute afterwards that television offered me an amazing chance to experience lives and moments that I could never imagine. So now, when I'm not getting distracted by my real life, I write about TV. I also read, am finishing a Master's degree in English Literature, travel, am attempting to learn vegan cooking, am the 5th of 6 children, and drive my roommate nuts by constantly cleaning our already clean apartment. Now that we're old friends, time for you to take my opinions as the be all and end all.

Thursday, June 30, 2011

Top 5: (Current) Character Deaths I Would Like to Facilitate

And to conclude, for now, my rather morbid fascination this week: characters I would kill.

This is off course purely in the realm of speculation, I have no control over any of this, but as a discerning (or overly opinionated, however you choose to see that) TV viewer, I have felt from time to time that certain shows could do without some characters and their ensuing storylines.  Even on the best of shows, there can be a lemon: a character who detracts to an extreme degree from the general awesomeness, or a character that just happens to annoy the ever living crap out of me.

Castiel, Supernatural
Sorry fangirls, this isn't personal, but if there is any hope for Supernatural to recapture it's glory, Castiel needs to die, and quick.  Remember when Sam and Dean were remotely competent at their job?  When they would find a mystery, investigate, and try try again until they found a solution?  Now they are sent on a job, call Bobby first thing, and then ask Castiel to fix it.  The former was engaging TV, the later is dull and baffling (if I were evil I wouldn't be afraid of these two either).  As much as I find Castiel amusing (and he really is), he's hobbled both the familial relationship between, and the professional capabilities of, Sam and Dean.  Goodbye Castiel, hello better show.

Becky, Friday Night Lights
(Alright, so this is cheating, since this show is technically finished, but I haven't watched all of it yet, so...)  I unapologetically morally disagree with Becky's choice to abort her child; I'm pro-life and always will be.  And yes, I know that sounds ridiculous within a post about how there are characters I would like to see no more of, and no more possibility of, on my nightly TV line-up.  But, that isn't why I'm putting her on this list.  Becky commits the fundamental sin in my book: she is dumb as shit.  She's not just not very bright, there are plenty of TV characters that are kind of dim (but their usually funny, making them sometimes/somewhat redeemable/useful), Becky is unrepentantly stupid.  She actively pursues, and insists that she is in love with, a guy that had sex with her mother!  Really?  Really?  It's like she saw The Graduate and thought it had a happy ending.  

Ezra, Pretty Little Liars
It isn't just the fact that Ezra is the (legal) adult in the most annoying relationship on any show I watch at the moment, but honestly that would be enough.  They are a blight on an otherwise entertaining show.  Every time Ezra and Aria interact I want to turn off PLL and never watch again.  Their insipid and repetitive conversations, mostly revolving around their inability to face the icky reality of their situation, eat up time that could be used so well with other characters.  Add on to this that Ezra has apparently never heard the term "statutory rape," and his hipster vests, and I just get beyond livid that on a show with such violent tendencies Ezra hasn't yet met with an "unfortunate accident."  Make this happen A.

Britta, Community
Boring.  So boring.  I think of Britta much like Mark on Parks and Recreation: a supposed love-interest that didn't pan out and then no one knew what to do with him.  And no one can argue that P and R has benefited immensely for swapping the sad-sack Mark for the amazing Ben (played by the oh so adorable Adam Scott) and the male-Leslie-Knope, aka Chris.  I'm not actually proposing to swap Britta for anyone, just kill her off and let the rest of the funny, messed-up, way-too-meta, darling characters get up to their high-jinks. And what couldn't Abed do with a major character death?  Meta-tastic!

Ser Alliser Thorne, Game of Thrones
This is purely, spitefully, because he is mean to Jon.  Which is evidence that he is bad at his job, and were this Soviet Russia, maybe that would be all the justification I would need.  There is being tough on your pupils in order to prepare them for difficult or unpleasant tasks, and then there is torturing young people because you are bitter about the way your life turned out.  Ser Alliser falls into camp B.  Bad enough, but, singling out Jon as his favorite punching bag is unforgivable in my eyes.  Jon doesn't need another person telling him that he is worthless, predisposed towards malevolence because his daddy wasn't married to his mommy, and that he was undeserving of the company of his siblings and attention of his father; he had enough of that growing up.  (Catelyn, I hate!)  There's nothing instructive or corrective about Ser Alliser's taunts and accusations; it is the jealous lashing out of a wretched man.  I'd welcome a bad end for him.

The TV Girl


KayPea said...

Gaaah...Becky...worst part of FNL. Maybe even more useless than Santiago.

The TV Girl said...

KP, I had to look up who you're talking about, I have so effectively repressed that mess of a storyline!