Sons of Anarchy: I Don't Know What to Say

(Season 3, Episode 1, "SO")

I'm not joking.  I really have no idea what to say.

I have been thinking all weekend about last week’s premier, about what happened, what didn't happen, and what this season will be like, and I have no more of an idea than I did days ago.  But let me give it a try.

In short, Gemma is stuck in a motel in Oregon until her legal situation clears up, and in trying to get away she stabs a guy in the crotch, so to avoid her doing any more damage Tig takes her where she wants to go: to her senile father for a visit.  Drunk and grieving Jax is pretty much in a waking coma, tries to break-up with Tara, but she convinces him that is a mistake, and then after a wake-up conversation with first Piney and then Clay, he pretty much beats to death a guy who fell out of the van of shooters that drove up to Half-Sac's wake and opened fire, hitting some bystanders and then running over Hale.  Able is in Ireland.

That might be the worst plot summary ever, and part of the reason is that this episode wasn't really so much about individual events, (up until the end) and much more about the untenable silence that follows great tragedy and the seething asphyxiation when we are trapped by our own choices.  I felt lightheaded by the end of this episode, because I was holding my breath along with all the characters.

One thing that made the overwhelming tension easier to endure before it exploded in a tidal wave of bullets is the reunion of Opie and Jax!  I know they worked their shit out last season, but the small ways that they care for each other are really amazing moments.  Opie literally picked Jax up when he couldn’t walk on his own power, and Jax untangled Opie from the barbed wire that would damage him and that separated him from his brothers.  These two actions were so flawlessly executed (the former in the background of the scene when it takes place) as natural expressions, not obnoxious metaphor, making the loyalty that they represent much more vivid.  

On a less depressing note, Kurt Sutter promised on Twitter that since female viewership increased with this season’s premier that we will get more naked Charlie Hunnam, so that is a win!

I’m trying to look on the bright side, because this is going to get dark. er.

The TV Girl

The Vampire Diaries: That Shite Was Out of Control!

Where do I begin? 

Maybe I should begin with explaining that yes, I watch this show, and yes, I love it.  A couple of months ago, when my friend Becca found out that I watch it she replied, “well, you were unemployed and sick last year, so I guess things can happen that you wouldn’t expect.”  I suppose that is the most logical explanation to someone who has never seen this show, and I think most people I know will be perfectly willing to leave it there, pity me behind my back, and just ignore this post entirely.

Their.  Loss.

This show is awesome.  But, if you have read this far, you already know that. 

In short, uncle/daddy John Gilbert survived being stabbed, but Stefan threatened to turn him into a vampire if he didn’t leave town.  Jeremy survived his suicide attempt, because he didn’t take enough pills to kill himself and Anna’s blood actually healed him, but now Elena decides he needs babysitters to keep him from trying to off himself again.  Tyler’s uncle shows up for mean-Mr.-Mayor’s funeral and to help Tyler understand the family “curse.”  Caroline isn’t recovering from her massive car accident fast enough, so hypocritical Bonnie has Damon give Caroline his blood and it’s really cute how happy Caroline and Matt are when she is all awake and alive.  Stefan figures out that Katherine is impersonating Elena, they fight, they flirt, they talk, and she reveals that she is back for him.  Damon and Katherine hook-up but he stops it to ask her a question and before he asks it, she tells him that she never loved him and she always loved Stefan.  Damon drunkenly confronts Elena about “their thing between them” and she rejects him too, so he breaks Jeremy’s neck, but luckily Jeremy was wearing the super-special Gilbert anti-mystical-death ring, so he isn’t all dead.  Poor Caroline though, is going to be a vampire, since Katherine smothered her to death with a pillow while she was still full of Damon blood.

Since way-to-good-for-him vampire Anna is no longer with us, Jeremy is better off to still be human, but now he needs a new storyline.  Revenge upon Damon for killing him?  Hunting down his uncle for murdering his girlfriend?  Whatever Jeremy does, I hope he gets to hit/stab/kill something, just like the rest of the male cast.

Bonnie needs to get on down from her high horse.  Sorry that her Grandmother died, it was very sad, but you cannot decide one minute that you need Damon to save someone’s life and then give him a magic migraine because you know just how evil he is.  As far as a moral compass, Bonnie kind of sucks: she is just too wishy-washy.  Now she has no credibility whatsoever, because it is her fault that the only of the two semi-normal characters is now way not normal!  Poor Caroline, and poor Matt, everything just goes wrong for them, and their darling relationship is the only thing that isn’t depressing for them, and now she can’t go out in the sun.  Low blow show, low blow.

Can Caroline join the “Let’s Stop Katherine” group?  Damon will need some help whenever his drunken despondence after having his heart ripped out by Katherine and then stomped on by Elena turns into hell-bent revenge.   Seriously, boy took quite a beating this episode, it was brutal.  My question is, ultimately whom is he going to blame, Katherine or Stefan?  I hope both!  Wait, that makes it sounds like I don’t like Stefan, and I do.  I just like Stefan and Damon’s combative/competitive relationship, so Stefan’s need to be untied with his brother in the face of danger to Elena is noble but not totally to my taste.  But Elena hates Damon now, so that sets us up for lots of tangled loyalties and shifting alliances.

Fantastic!

The TV Girl

Top 5: Movie Mistakes I’ve Made for Men (of TV)

Okay friends, time to air some dirty laundry.

I promise, the only name I’m naming is my own, but I doubt I’m the only one who has done this.  In fact I would bet that everyone has done this at one time or another.  Is there anyone out there who has not watched a terrible movie because of a TV crush?  If you saw Made of Honor (which I DID NOT) you have no room to judge me.  I fully admit that for the love of a TV boyfriend I have willingly endured hours of insults to cinema.  And the winners are:

For Taylor Kitsch of Friday Night Lights I’ve watched The Covenant and X-Men Origins: Wolverine.  The Covenant was terrible, but I didn’t expect much, so whatever, I wasted part of my afternoon.  For me, the real offense here is that Wolverine didn’t have to be bad, but man was it ever.  Kitsch as Gambit was brilliant casting and then he is barely in the movie, so there I am, sitting through some boring fight scenes and totally unbearable “story.”  And while I probably would have seen this movie anyway, my expectations would have stayed in check if he hadn’t been in it, hence why the disappointment stings so much more.

For Jensen Ackles of Supernatural I’ve watched Devour, My Bloody Valentine, and 10 Inch Hero.  I liked My Bloody Valentine; I thought it was an entertaining horror movie that actually gave me the creeps.  Other than that, Jensen has made some poor poor life choices, and I have been right there along with him supporting them, so obviously I’m an enabler.  It has kind of turned into a game, watching movies he’s in just to see how bad they are.  Devour is incomprehensible: somehow it involves some incest, a mind-control video game that causes kids to kill, and the devil.  I’m fairly sure I was sober when I watched this, but trying now to remember how all these pieces fit together, maybe I wasn’t.  I think we are all better off it I don’t try to explain 10 Inch Hero, but I assure you, it isn’t porn.  It might be less embarrassing for all involved if it were porn.  Oh well, I think that movie is where he met his wife, so at least that is a win for someone.  For me, I have some memories to repress.

For Joshua Jackson of Dawson’s Creek and Fringe I’ve watched Urban Legend, Cruel Intentions, The Skulls, and Gossip.  I think this list kind of dates me a bit, but age isn’t my problem when I look at this list.  What I realize is that other than Gossip, I don’t regret my choice to watch these movies.  I don’t even regret that I watched Urban Legend last Halloween, or that I will most likely watch it this Halloween.  Seriously, it’s one of the most amazingly bad horror movies!  But as much as I enjoy Mr. Jackson’s body of work, I don’t think a one of these stands out as timeless art, and if my mother had any idea what I was doing with my time when I was supposed to be in high school, I think she would have a, well, problem.  In the what-else-could-I’ve-done-with-my-time ledger of life, I think my mom might have a point.

For Adam Brody of The O.C. I’ve watched In the Land of Women.  I put this on my list because this movie is so bad!  This cancer-ridden family-drama/running-shoe-ad quarterlife-crisis is a really wretched movie.  I shudder every time I see it on the shelf at Target, occasionally, when a crossword clue escapes me, I wonder if I actually lost brain cells in that hour and a half, and it makes it so I have to admit to one extra Kristen Stewart movie I’ve seen that could have been avoided.  Adam Brody, you owe me.

For Scott Speedman of Felicity I’ve watched Underworld, and Underworld Evolution.  I kind of enjoy Underworld more than any person should.  It is one of my top go-to rainy-day movies.  The whole thing is so over the top and ridiculous, even more so than I could have imagine when I rented it for the first time because I needed a Scott Speedman broody-face fix.  And the second movie is just as awesomely bad as the first.  But, because I watched the first two I felt compelled to finish the series, and Underworld 3: Rise of the Lycans isn’t fun-bad: it’s just atrocious: horrible story, wretched pacing, lame fight scenes, all over just a turkey of a movie.  So, while I should thank Scotty-boy for being in two awful-but-amazing movies (especially because at the time I watched the first one, I had no idea I saw future TV boyfriend Wentworth Miller!), I have some discomfort with the chain of causality that led to Underworld 3: Lame of the Lamest.

Honorable Mentions: Movies I watched for a TV boyfriend that turned out to be good despite what I thought going into it.

For Bradley Cooper of Alias and Kitchen Confidential I watched The Hangover, and laughed until I couldn’t breath.

For Benjamin Mackenzie of The O.C. and Southland I watched Junebug, and experienced a well-made journey with a dysfunctional family, as well as my introduction to the brilliant Amy Adams.

For John Krazinski of The Office I watched Away We Go, and was pleasantly surprised by how sweet and entertaining this potential hipster-black-hole was.

I wish I could say that looking at this has made me learn my lesson, but I have to admit: I will probably always watch bad movies for my TV boyfriends.  Nathan Fillion's opus White Noise 2 is looking very tempting right about now.

The TV Girl

Stuff I'm Not Remotely Qualified to Talk About: Sandman Adaptation

I'm being totally honest and upfront: I've never read Neil Gaiman's Sandman.

It has been recommended to me by people I trust very much, and today I was thinking that I need a new reading project (you know, so my brain doesn't rot from watching too much TV), so maybe after work I'll metro down to the comicbook store in Union Station and pick up a copy.  People seem to love this thing, so I'm game.

Here is what I'm interested in/hesitant about at the moment.  A few sources are saying that Eric Kripke is the top choice as show runner, should these talks to develop a show from this source ever come to fruition, and it is here that  I'm torn.  Kripke gave me Supernatural, one of my favorite shows, but because of that, I know what Kripke is capable of, and I don't know if I'm prepared to sign up for a few more years of being dragged through the emotional wringer week after week.  Supernatural gives me more than enough faith in Kripke's ability to put together an amazing show, but the prospect of once again being sucked into a world that often feels like a desolate wasteland is a bit too daunting for me right now.

But, of course, once I actually read this thing and have any clue what I'm talking about aside from my own speculation and insecurity, then I may very well change my tune.

If you are interested in an actual informed opinion, I would suggest:

http://thedrunkenscholar.net/en/latest-news/moviestv/item/711-sandman-being-developed-for-television-gaiman-not-involved

The TV Girl

Fall Forward: What Will I Be Watching?

Maybe I'm stuck in the past, maybe I just feel so overwhelmed by all I missed last season, maybe I'm just super persnickety right now about what I want to watch, but for whatever reason, nothing starting this fall is really grabbing my attention as a must-watch.  I already have a semi-commitment to 10 hours of  new TV a week, which doesn't include Saturday DVD-fests or any old loves rekindled (hey it could happen), so while I know that I have juggled so many more shows in the past, as an older and wiser girl (right!) I shy away from overextending myself for anything that doesn't really call to me.  But, I will attempt (for at least as long as it takes me to write this) not to be an intensely skeptical lady.  Here are 4 shows that if I try a smattering of the new-fall-shows-buffet will be on my plate.

Terriers, F/X, September 8, 2010
Now I admit, the buddy-fake-cop premise is a bit overdone at the moment, and while I was funemployed for what felt like forever it never occurred to me to solve crimes in my spare time, but F/X has earned a lot of credibility with me, so if there is a chance that I could get another SoA-caliber show I have to at least take a look.  Plus TWoP compares it to Veronica Mars, so I have to evaluate the verity of that statement.

The Event, NBC, September 20, 2010
High-concept disparate-storyline conspiracy shows exhaust me (seriously if I don't finish Lost soon I will be found in some sort of very angry coma), and even the ones that I've loved eventually burn me out.  Jason Ritter tends to be a snooze, and Laura Innes has already had WAY too much of my time during the brief period when I watched ER (uuugggg, high school and trying to fit in), so why even try with a show where nothing about it really appeals to me?  Two words: ZELJKO IVANEK!!!  Seriously, this dude is walking awesome.  He is hands-down the best part of Damages S1, wields power with aplomb on True Blood, and was Juliet's bastard ex-husband on Lost for one episode until he got hit by a bus (a moment of that show I genuinely enjoyed!), so even if this show is a total train-wreck, he will be amazing.

Undercovers, NBC, September 22, 2010
Thanks to Fringe JJ Abrams has earned back much of the respect that I used to have for him, so I feel like I would just be being contrary if I don't at least see what the pilot of his new show is all about.  That he is back to the spy-genera doesn't fill me with a ton of hope, but when Alias was good, it was quite good, so history is kind of on his side.  Also, the lovely Gugu Mbatha-Raw (the female lead) was Tish Jones on Doctor Who S3.  You know, Martha's sister.  I feel like I should support her American endeavor.

No Ordinary Family, ABC, September 28, 2010
I admit it, I'm a sucker for super powers and Julie Benz.  Now, that doesn't mean I was willing to watch Desperate Housewives (man, some of my dearest loves have demeaned themselves on that rot), but when the world hands me the opportunity to see my dearly-dead-Darla/Rita, the Commish himself Michael Chiklis, the truly hilarious Romany Malco (Weeds hasn't been the same without you), and The O.C.'s Autumn Resser (Taylor!) all in one place, and with super-powers, it would just be rude to reject such a gift.  I don't believe cast is everything, but when it is a cast like this, it is a start.

Anything looking particularly intriguing to you in the coming season?

The TV Girl