I'm stuck at work, after hours, unpaid, and man I'm pissed about it.
I'm in the midst of a (perpetual) career crisis. For the stupidest reasons anyone has ever done anything I left grad school without finishing my degree, and since then I've either been unemployed or bouncing around from boring job to boring job. People ask me all the time "what do you want to do with your life?" Mostly I say normal things, but maybe I like my jobs like I like me men: fictional. The jobs people have on TV, even if they are completely normal jobs, just look more fun. The companies seem more chill, the co-worker interaction seems limited, and based on the living situations of most TV characters wages seem exponentially higher. So, I will be sending my resume to:
Fringe Division, FBI (Fringe)
Yes, I might get shot. Or killed so that a shape-shifter can impersonate me. Or given a really bad haircut. But between the hilarity of Walter's lack of social boundaries and Olivia's inability to overcome them, the office environment would be well worth the risk. Plus, they never look bored. And there is a lax drug policy.
Unnamed Law Firm (Suits)
There are a couple reasons I think I could jive with Harvey and Mike's Manhattan firm. First, apparently, if you work here, you can be extremely rude to new hires. As a receptionist, paralegal, or personal assistant, you can ignore, taunt, or lie to potential and new employees, all with the encouragement of your superiors. Usually such behavior gets me in quite a bit of trouble (stupid woman who used to work at UD Advancement, I still hate you), but give me the blessing to be a bitch and I'll be the best damn employee you've ever seen. Plus, if your smart and hardworking you can move from the mail room to the senior partnership. Isn't everyone looking for a company that hires from within?
Seattle Police Department (The Killing)
This place might be my dream job. I hate wearing makeup, so Linden and I would be total BFFs. I look excellent in a hoodie, so if I needed a quick change during the day Holder would have my back. I love the rain and am not afraid to be outside in it, so I wouldn't be bothered by the fact that it always begins raining whenever anyone walks outside. I'm already an expert at mental/emotionally damaging people by not saying what I'm thinking, so no one would have to explain that procedure to me. And, since it doesn't appear that the hiring process includes any screening for general competence or analytical aptitude, my complete lack of experience wouldn't hold me back. I'll be a detective before you know it.
Hollis College (Pretty Little Liars)
All you need to land a teaching position in the English Department at Hollis is to ASK, so I think with my almost completed Master's degree in English Literature I could be the Chairwoman of the department, right off the bat. Not only do you need no more formal education than a BA, you will be furnished with a HUGE corner office with plenty of sunlight, all to your self. And since you won't be bothered with any of that pesky teaching business, you know like lesson planning, grading, or ever standing up in front of a room of students, you'll have all the time in the world to continue you illicit, and illegal, relationship. Why exactly did my adviser spend all that time telling me how slim my chances of earning a tenure teaching position would be? Academia is obviously where the plentiful and advantageous jobs are.
Unnamed Publishing Company (Castle)
I could totally dig being an editor. Getting to read all day and then tell people how to make their writing better, I would want to work all the time. And if I just happened to be at a publisher where I could marry, divorce, date, and then break up with my super hot star writer, that would be a vast improvement over my current employer, where I get fussed at if I don't cover my small and tasteful tattoos all day. Books, brutal honesty and barely-there moral code, that's my kind of place.
The TV Girl
Making the world a better place, one show at a time.
- The TV Girl
- Washington, DC, United States
- I guess you would like to know a little bit about the person making all these proclamations upon good taste and horrid characters. I'm Andrea and when I was 15 I fell in love. An hour after meeting "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" I was forever altered in the way only love can, and I never questioned for one minute afterwards that television offered me an amazing chance to experience lives and moments that I could never imagine. So now, when I'm not getting distracted by my real life, I write about TV. I also read, am finishing a Master's degree in English Literature, travel, am attempting to learn vegan cooking, am the 5th of 6 children, and drive my roommate nuts by constantly cleaning our already clean apartment. Now that we're old friends, time for you to take my opinions as the be all and end all.