The Super Bowl is still going on. I'm just waiting impatiently for the new episode of House airing when the men in tight pants relinquish control of network TV. In addition, I'm having writer's block (did I write a bestselling novel recently?), so what am I doing? That's right, channel surfing! Here is what I have discovered today.
MTV is the haven of the unemployable. Why is anyone concerned about difficulties in the job market? There is an entire network devoted to lifetime job security for those who posses not one skill, talent, brain-cell, or apparently even the barest human decency which indicates a soul. Want proof of what I'm saying? Tune into five minuets of The Gauntlet III. A whole group of people that don't seem to do anything but compete on MTV "reality" shows. Men and women in their late 20s-mid 30s (some with receding hairlines) with nothing to show for their collective existences aside from drunken hook-ups, tans, and facial hair that would qualify them to be extras in the BBC's next Dickens production. The network can send these degenerates all over the world but can't spring for razors?
Need more evidence? Four words: Marking the Band Four. I don't have to defend this, I really don't.
I don't want to be a horrible person, and say that I feel so much better about my own life after seeing what others are up to, but I do, I really do. I might be a big dork, but at least I am not allowing camera crews to document my unabashed mediocrity. Need an ego-boost? Five minutes with MTV is better than any medication.
THe TV Girl
Making the world a better place, one show at a time.
- The TV Girl
- Washington, DC, United States
- I guess you would like to know a little bit about the person making all these proclamations upon good taste and horrid characters. I'm Andrea and when I was 15 I fell in love. An hour after meeting "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" I was forever altered in the way only love can, and I never questioned for one minute afterwards that television offered me an amazing chance to experience lives and moments that I could never imagine. So now, when I'm not getting distracted by my real life, I write about TV. I also read, am finishing a Master's degree in English Literature, travel, am attempting to learn vegan cooking, am the 5th of 6 children, and drive my roommate nuts by constantly cleaning our already clean apartment. Now that we're old friends, time for you to take my opinions as the be all and end all.
Sunday, February 3, 2008
The Closer (6): One More "Strong Career Women with Messed Up Personal Life" Show
It's Super Bowl Sunday, but I'm not interested. The Patriots have had such a good season that people are rooting for the Giants just because they are the other team. It all smacks of sour grapes on both sides to me. I choose to stay out of it.
Instead I have been enjoying the marathons other networks offer to attract any viewers at all. I have never seen The Closer before, and never had any real interest in it, but when there is no break between episodes (the end credits play on a split screen with the opening scene of the next episode) I find myself powerless to watch anything else. (I spent Memorial Day 2005 watching twelve straight episodes of Law and Order with a friend. One of my top five days of all time.) As day fades into evening, I have two questions: why the garish lipstick, and why the accent?
When someone answers these two questions I will write a real review of this show. Until then, you will all be deprived of my opinion.
Hope your team wins.
The TV Girl
Instead I have been enjoying the marathons other networks offer to attract any viewers at all. I have never seen The Closer before, and never had any real interest in it, but when there is no break between episodes (the end credits play on a split screen with the opening scene of the next episode) I find myself powerless to watch anything else. (I spent Memorial Day 2005 watching twelve straight episodes of Law and Order with a friend. One of my top five days of all time.) As day fades into evening, I have two questions: why the garish lipstick, and why the accent?
When someone answers these two questions I will write a real review of this show. Until then, you will all be deprived of my opinion.
Hope your team wins.
The TV Girl
Guest Star: KP
I am loath to admit this, but one girl can not do everything. By one girl I mean me. I would love to have TiVo, and nothing else to do besides explore the full landscape of the TV world. Alas, I do not have TiVo. As far as my personal time limitation goes, I think it would be best if we just move on. I might not have all the time in the world, but I have kickass friends. I've referenced KP in previous posts, and she has done me the honor of writing two reviews to cover ground I haven't. KP is ridiculously funny and has great taste, so please enjoy her first review.
The TV Girl
October Road or forever known as “The Show That Made Me Want to Cut Off My Legs.” (0)
It started innocently enough. With all my limbs intact, I saw a preview for October Road following an episode of Grey’s Anatomy. The premise of the show was enough to make me cut off several toes. A small town boy who becomes a published novelist and lives in the big city returns to his hometown in an attempt to get over writer’s block, discovers the girl he left behind now has a son and all his friends remaining in the town resent his success and his leaving without an explanation. Gag. Me. With. A. Spoon. Then came some ridiculous voice over saying “all roads lead home” or something equally moronic. But what it should have said was this show is about “leaving home to find yourself and discovering that home is where you are truly yourself but it takes you super long to get there and even if you have a successful career you won’t be happy because you are never truly yourself when you don’t have your small town friends around to remind you who you are. View at your own risk.”
At this point, the feet and more toes are up for amputation. The show begins with our earnest young writer Nick (Bryan Greenberg) who has left his hometown of Knights Ridge following his senior year of high school to go backpacking around Europe to “find himself.” He leaves behind girlfriend, Hannah (Laura Prepon), best friend Eddie (Geoff Stults) and various other slothful creatures. Nick’s short hiatus turned into a 10-year absence from Knight’s Ridge and we now find him living in NYC with a published novel, Turtle On a Snare Drum. I suspect this is a metaphor for something important but not important enough for me to watch and find out. Of course, he has had no contact with his family or his friends in the last 10 years because that is what happens when you become successful. You don’t talk to your parents. For ten years.
One foot is definitely gone.
Nick is currently suffering from writer’s block, which apparently happens to all young writers shortly after publishing their first novel (think One Tree Hill). Forced by his editor to teach a one week writing seminar at the college in his old hometown, he returns to find his girlfriend Hannah with a 10-year old son named Sam and his friends and family cold shouldering him. You would think after 10 years of silence, his friends and family would roll out the red carpet and kill the fatted calf upon his return. Nick’s confusion over their apathy toward his homecoming is not only ridiculous but slightly offensive. One wonders how Nick can write a novel about, as he says, “the human condition” but be clueless as to genuine human reactions. Both feet amputated at this point.
The show then gets meaty when Nick finally realizes that Hannah’s son Sam is 10 years old and he has been gone—gasp—10 years. Could Sam be Nick’s son? Cue the flashback scene before Nick leaves and see the hyper-sexed teenagers having one final night of passion. The funny thing is, it takes Nick approximately 4 days (42 minutes in show time) to realize that Sam might be his son. Apparently, being a writer, you have no concept of biology or human reproduction. Calves amputated at this point.
We then see Nick observing Sam in an almost pedophilic manner, stalking the boy after school and with his friends to see if Sam possesses traits of Nick. After sleuth detective work, we discover that Sam has a peanut allergy just like Nick. An effin peanut allergy?? Since both men now have the dreaded peanut allergy, they must be related because as Nick points out, the allergy is passed through blood lines, etc. Again, he is a writer, not a biologist. At this point, my knees have been blown out.
The rest of the show is some unimportant plot stuff that deals with Nick’s friends trying to move on with their lives and sleeping with the others significant others. It’s oh so complicated stuff about true love and what not. You have to wonder whether Knights Ridge is really the town of “Lack of Morals and Basic Human Decency.” Nick’s friends seem to be afterthoughts of the writers and producers. It’s like they woke up one morning saying, “Oh yeah, we should put some more people in the show and call them Nick’s friends.”
The writing of the show reminds me of daytime soap opera. Witness this exchange between Nick and Hannah.
“What do you want Hannah?”
“I don’t know Nick, I don’t know what I want. It’s all too soon, too many memories, you were gone and now you are back and it’s too soon.” Sigh.
Or:
“So Nick, why did you leave?”
“Well…um…it was just not…you know…I didn’t feel right…it was my calling…I had to…umm…find myself in order to be…the best version of myself…like…you know.”
Yeah, we know. We know your dialogue sucks. Bryan Greenberg is not the worst actor in the world but October Road might be the worst vehicle for him to prove his worth. The same can be said for Laura Prepon. Because of the success of That 70s Show, you wonder what this blonde aloof person did with our Donna. For a good laugh, watch Hannah’s “reaction” to Nick’s return. It cost me a thigh. The other thigh was lost during a scene where Nicks begs the dean of the college for a teaching position. See, now that he and Sam have the same peanut allergy, he wants to stay in town for a while to discover what else they have in common. Moles? Tattoos? Six fingers on their left hand? I wouldn’t put it past the writers to concoct something along those lines. Anyway, the dean repeatedly denies Nick’s request and only relents after Nick prostrates himself on her lawn in the middle of the night singing, “Where is the Love?” from Oliver Twist. Yeah, I’m sorry I just made you throw up all over your keyboard. My bad.
The other characters are one-dimensional and frankly the only purpose they serve is to highlight why Nick might have been on to something when he left. There is some mindless back story about one of his friends who never leaves the house and has pasty skin to prove it and another about a fledging romance between the town stud and the dumpy but has a heart of gold barmaid. There is also a story line regarding Nick’s potential romance with an admiring and attractive student. Because we all know how well student-teacher sexual relationships work out. Legs officially amputated at this point.
In the end, the actors deliver the dialogue as if they live in a perpetual state of painful constipation. They also seem to be slightly amused with themselves almost as if they know that their actions are inane and their words nonsensical. On a personal note, I happen to have met the executive producer of the show and the man is detestable. Go figure.
Sources tell me that the show’s writers also wrote a film called Beautiful Girls. October Road was meant to serve as a sequel to this forgettable movie. I did have the unfortunate experience to see Beautiful Girls and the only thing I can remember is watching Timothy Hutton’s inappropriate crush/lust/affection for a 13th year old girl played by Natalie Portman. At the time, I thought this is so wrong. And I was so right. October Road is a path no person in his or her right mind would ever take.
KP
Final Note from The TV Girl:
I love that KP mentioned One Tree Hill, because Bryan Greenberg once graced OTH as Jake, the delightful single father who falls for Peyton but sends her back to Lucas. Too bad he went from such a sweet character to such a stupid one.
The TV Girl
October Road or forever known as “The Show That Made Me Want to Cut Off My Legs.” (0)
It started innocently enough. With all my limbs intact, I saw a preview for October Road following an episode of Grey’s Anatomy. The premise of the show was enough to make me cut off several toes. A small town boy who becomes a published novelist and lives in the big city returns to his hometown in an attempt to get over writer’s block, discovers the girl he left behind now has a son and all his friends remaining in the town resent his success and his leaving without an explanation. Gag. Me. With. A. Spoon. Then came some ridiculous voice over saying “all roads lead home” or something equally moronic. But what it should have said was this show is about “leaving home to find yourself and discovering that home is where you are truly yourself but it takes you super long to get there and even if you have a successful career you won’t be happy because you are never truly yourself when you don’t have your small town friends around to remind you who you are. View at your own risk.”
At this point, the feet and more toes are up for amputation. The show begins with our earnest young writer Nick (Bryan Greenberg) who has left his hometown of Knights Ridge following his senior year of high school to go backpacking around Europe to “find himself.” He leaves behind girlfriend, Hannah (Laura Prepon), best friend Eddie (Geoff Stults) and various other slothful creatures. Nick’s short hiatus turned into a 10-year absence from Knight’s Ridge and we now find him living in NYC with a published novel, Turtle On a Snare Drum. I suspect this is a metaphor for something important but not important enough for me to watch and find out. Of course, he has had no contact with his family or his friends in the last 10 years because that is what happens when you become successful. You don’t talk to your parents. For ten years.
One foot is definitely gone.
Nick is currently suffering from writer’s block, which apparently happens to all young writers shortly after publishing their first novel (think One Tree Hill). Forced by his editor to teach a one week writing seminar at the college in his old hometown, he returns to find his girlfriend Hannah with a 10-year old son named Sam and his friends and family cold shouldering him. You would think after 10 years of silence, his friends and family would roll out the red carpet and kill the fatted calf upon his return. Nick’s confusion over their apathy toward his homecoming is not only ridiculous but slightly offensive. One wonders how Nick can write a novel about, as he says, “the human condition” but be clueless as to genuine human reactions. Both feet amputated at this point.
The show then gets meaty when Nick finally realizes that Hannah’s son Sam is 10 years old and he has been gone—gasp—10 years. Could Sam be Nick’s son? Cue the flashback scene before Nick leaves and see the hyper-sexed teenagers having one final night of passion. The funny thing is, it takes Nick approximately 4 days (42 minutes in show time) to realize that Sam might be his son. Apparently, being a writer, you have no concept of biology or human reproduction. Calves amputated at this point.
We then see Nick observing Sam in an almost pedophilic manner, stalking the boy after school and with his friends to see if Sam possesses traits of Nick. After sleuth detective work, we discover that Sam has a peanut allergy just like Nick. An effin peanut allergy?? Since both men now have the dreaded peanut allergy, they must be related because as Nick points out, the allergy is passed through blood lines, etc. Again, he is a writer, not a biologist. At this point, my knees have been blown out.
The rest of the show is some unimportant plot stuff that deals with Nick’s friends trying to move on with their lives and sleeping with the others significant others. It’s oh so complicated stuff about true love and what not. You have to wonder whether Knights Ridge is really the town of “Lack of Morals and Basic Human Decency.” Nick’s friends seem to be afterthoughts of the writers and producers. It’s like they woke up one morning saying, “Oh yeah, we should put some more people in the show and call them Nick’s friends.”
The writing of the show reminds me of daytime soap opera. Witness this exchange between Nick and Hannah.
“What do you want Hannah?”
“I don’t know Nick, I don’t know what I want. It’s all too soon, too many memories, you were gone and now you are back and it’s too soon.” Sigh.
Or:
“So Nick, why did you leave?”
“Well…um…it was just not…you know…I didn’t feel right…it was my calling…I had to…umm…find myself in order to be…the best version of myself…like…you know.”
Yeah, we know. We know your dialogue sucks. Bryan Greenberg is not the worst actor in the world but October Road might be the worst vehicle for him to prove his worth. The same can be said for Laura Prepon. Because of the success of That 70s Show, you wonder what this blonde aloof person did with our Donna. For a good laugh, watch Hannah’s “reaction” to Nick’s return. It cost me a thigh. The other thigh was lost during a scene where Nicks begs the dean of the college for a teaching position. See, now that he and Sam have the same peanut allergy, he wants to stay in town for a while to discover what else they have in common. Moles? Tattoos? Six fingers on their left hand? I wouldn’t put it past the writers to concoct something along those lines. Anyway, the dean repeatedly denies Nick’s request and only relents after Nick prostrates himself on her lawn in the middle of the night singing, “Where is the Love?” from Oliver Twist. Yeah, I’m sorry I just made you throw up all over your keyboard. My bad.
The other characters are one-dimensional and frankly the only purpose they serve is to highlight why Nick might have been on to something when he left. There is some mindless back story about one of his friends who never leaves the house and has pasty skin to prove it and another about a fledging romance between the town stud and the dumpy but has a heart of gold barmaid. There is also a story line regarding Nick’s potential romance with an admiring and attractive student. Because we all know how well student-teacher sexual relationships work out. Legs officially amputated at this point.
In the end, the actors deliver the dialogue as if they live in a perpetual state of painful constipation. They also seem to be slightly amused with themselves almost as if they know that their actions are inane and their words nonsensical. On a personal note, I happen to have met the executive producer of the show and the man is detestable. Go figure.
Sources tell me that the show’s writers also wrote a film called Beautiful Girls. October Road was meant to serve as a sequel to this forgettable movie. I did have the unfortunate experience to see Beautiful Girls and the only thing I can remember is watching Timothy Hutton’s inappropriate crush/lust/affection for a 13th year old girl played by Natalie Portman. At the time, I thought this is so wrong. And I was so right. October Road is a path no person in his or her right mind would ever take.
KP
Final Note from The TV Girl:
I love that KP mentioned One Tree Hill, because Bryan Greenberg once graced OTH as Jake, the delightful single father who falls for Peyton but sends her back to Lucas. Too bad he went from such a sweet character to such a stupid one.
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Friday Night Lights (9.5): Which is more romantic; The Wrath of Kahn or Jaws?
I can’t write anything right now, I’m on my way to give Matt Saracen a huge hug and tell him everything will be okay. At least, I wish I that was what I was doing. Matt has been working up to his nervous breakdown for a while now. I can’t help but think that the distance between him and Landry has not helped the situation. But let me make one thing clear: Julie left him for a different guy, not a better guy! Matt is one of the most precious characters on TV, and I can’t believe how difficult his life is. His dad is in Iraq, his mom is (mysteriously) in Oklahoma, his grandmother has dementia, Julie broke up with him for the stupidest reason (the Swede), and he hasn’t forgiven Coach Taylor for going TMU (do you know that there is an actual TMU, in Iran). My baby Matt has too much to deal with, and why is anyone surprised that he snapped. I can see people thinking that his emulation of Riggins is stupid, but from his perspective Riggins is the perfect example of everything he is not. Matt has so much responsibility, but Tim has none. I understand Matt wanting to be someone else for a few days, but he can’t live his life that way. Now that Coach Taylor knows just how hurt Matt is he will be able to help him. Standing up for Smash at the end indicates that Matt is on the mend, but considering that he called his art teacher a bitch (very un-Matt-like), it might be a long road.
I know that Landry and Tyra are meant to be together. He loves her too much not to get her, but I am sorry for Jean. She is so cute and I can’t help but wonder if she will turn out to be right when she told Landry he would regret choosing Tyra. Is Tyra ready to be loved unconditionally? The reappearance of her mother makes me think not.
Am I the only one who thinks Smash’s punishment is out of proportion? He hit a guy in a movie theater; he didn’t hurt the guy that much, didn’t endanger anyone’s life, didn’t damage any property, and left the incident before it escalated. Suspending him from games is one thing, but taking away his scholarship? His mom impresses me more and more every time I see her. His education is her highest priority. She might be disappointed that he has lost his scholarship, but she doesn’t kick him while he is down. He does right by his mother by encouraging his team to do well, and keeping his own difficulty to himself. Smash is growing; learning to strike a better balance between his own desires and what is right for others.
I think I need to address some concerns that were brought to my attention. I have heard some complaints that FNL is becoming more about drama and less about football. I understand this as intentional upon the part of the show creators. The townspeople of Dillon see these young men as football players, and that is it. They encourage their vices (the bartender willing to serve Riggins and Matt), ignore their problems, and base their opinions of them on whether they win or loose the game. These players live in a place that turns them into automatons that will be replaced every two-four years. Part of the point of the show is to give these players a real face, to discover who they are off the field. I love the games, so I’m looking forward to the beginning of the next episode, but if you want the focus of the show to stay entirely on the field then you have missed a major point of the show. Don’t mean to be harsh, but that’s how I feel.
I know that Landry and Tyra are meant to be together. He loves her too much not to get her, but I am sorry for Jean. She is so cute and I can’t help but wonder if she will turn out to be right when she told Landry he would regret choosing Tyra. Is Tyra ready to be loved unconditionally? The reappearance of her mother makes me think not.
Am I the only one who thinks Smash’s punishment is out of proportion? He hit a guy in a movie theater; he didn’t hurt the guy that much, didn’t endanger anyone’s life, didn’t damage any property, and left the incident before it escalated. Suspending him from games is one thing, but taking away his scholarship? His mom impresses me more and more every time I see her. His education is her highest priority. She might be disappointed that he has lost his scholarship, but she doesn’t kick him while he is down. He does right by his mother by encouraging his team to do well, and keeping his own difficulty to himself. Smash is growing; learning to strike a better balance between his own desires and what is right for others.
I think I need to address some concerns that were brought to my attention. I have heard some complaints that FNL is becoming more about drama and less about football. I understand this as intentional upon the part of the show creators. The townspeople of Dillon see these young men as football players, and that is it. They encourage their vices (the bartender willing to serve Riggins and Matt), ignore their problems, and base their opinions of them on whether they win or loose the game. These players live in a place that turns them into automatons that will be replaced every two-four years. Part of the point of the show is to give these players a real face, to discover who they are off the field. I love the games, so I’m looking forward to the beginning of the next episode, but if you want the focus of the show to stay entirely on the field then you have missed a major point of the show. Don’t mean to be harsh, but that’s how I feel.
Friday, February 1, 2008
Rome (4): The Fire in Cinecitta Was God’s Retribution
Who knew the fall of the Republic could be so boring? The first season of Rome was intriguing; I recommended it to quite a few people. The show took liberties with history, but it was entertaining, well done, and remained fairly true to the nature of the main characters. While Season Two is also beautifully produced and well acted, overall it was a big snoozefest. I think that the elements that attracted viewers to Rome in the first place are the same elements that doomed Season Two.
I have, officially, seen enough butts for a very long time. I get it, I get it, the whole big deal about HBO and Showtime, and other cable networks, is that they can show more skin, which somehow translates into being more “authentic.” Well, I am going to go on record: more isn’t better. When a show begins at a certain level (the necessary amount of nudity to qualify as an HBO show) then to maintain viewer interest they have to keep taking off more clothing, and aiming the camera lower. If you can’t tell, this is just nudity for the sake of nudity. Plot then becomes filler; simply a way to get from point T to point A. In Season One people had sex, and though not what I was interested in, it was a fairly ignorable element of the show. In Season Two it is like they had a butt-shot per minuet quota they needed to fill.
There is a saying. Behind every good man is a better woman. Apparently, behind every famous Roman there is a completely psychotic, bat-shit crazy, uber-bitch. I liked in Season One that the show gave a balanced treatment of male and female characters. Part of the point was that the Roman women were just as ambitious, and cut-throat as the Roman men. In Season Two all the (same) women are totally looney-toons, and I’m not sure what the point is. The men are awful, but not crazy, so any presentation of gender-equality went out the window. But it wasn’t like the show was trying to make the point that femininity can be sacrificed to the point where it is lost. The men didn’t seem to notice the marked difference.
Speaking of the men, Season Two focused less attention on Vorenus (Kevin McKidd) and Pullo (Ray Stevenson). The show was based on showing history through their “ordinary” eyes, so the focus shift is annoying, but I liked the storylines Vorenus and Pullo had, so I don’t want to be too quibbly. The rest of the storylines were confusing. Was I supposed to be repulsed by Octavian (Simon Woods)? He wasn’t any better or worse than everybody else, so I laughed every time one of the other characters spit some insult at him. I admit that buddy-boy has some cold eyes, but Octavian just played the game better than the rest of them. What difference between the Republic and the Empire did this show posit?
I want to say one nice thing. Octavia (Kerry Condon) and Agrippa (Allen Leech) are a (relatively) sweet couple. I hope the look between them at the very end is an indication that they would be happy someday.
The TV Girl
I have, officially, seen enough butts for a very long time. I get it, I get it, the whole big deal about HBO and Showtime, and other cable networks, is that they can show more skin, which somehow translates into being more “authentic.” Well, I am going to go on record: more isn’t better. When a show begins at a certain level (the necessary amount of nudity to qualify as an HBO show) then to maintain viewer interest they have to keep taking off more clothing, and aiming the camera lower. If you can’t tell, this is just nudity for the sake of nudity. Plot then becomes filler; simply a way to get from point T to point A. In Season One people had sex, and though not what I was interested in, it was a fairly ignorable element of the show. In Season Two it is like they had a butt-shot per minuet quota they needed to fill.
There is a saying. Behind every good man is a better woman. Apparently, behind every famous Roman there is a completely psychotic, bat-shit crazy, uber-bitch. I liked in Season One that the show gave a balanced treatment of male and female characters. Part of the point was that the Roman women were just as ambitious, and cut-throat as the Roman men. In Season Two all the (same) women are totally looney-toons, and I’m not sure what the point is. The men are awful, but not crazy, so any presentation of gender-equality went out the window. But it wasn’t like the show was trying to make the point that femininity can be sacrificed to the point where it is lost. The men didn’t seem to notice the marked difference.
Speaking of the men, Season Two focused less attention on Vorenus (Kevin McKidd) and Pullo (Ray Stevenson). The show was based on showing history through their “ordinary” eyes, so the focus shift is annoying, but I liked the storylines Vorenus and Pullo had, so I don’t want to be too quibbly. The rest of the storylines were confusing. Was I supposed to be repulsed by Octavian (Simon Woods)? He wasn’t any better or worse than everybody else, so I laughed every time one of the other characters spit some insult at him. I admit that buddy-boy has some cold eyes, but Octavian just played the game better than the rest of them. What difference between the Republic and the Empire did this show posit?
I want to say one nice thing. Octavia (Kerry Condon) and Agrippa (Allen Leech) are a (relatively) sweet couple. I hope the look between them at the very end is an indication that they would be happy someday.
The TV Girl
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