Bones: An Open Letter To Hart Hanson.

Dear Creator/Producer of a show that was once entertaining and touching,

If you don’t mind, would you please get off your frakking socially-correct high horse, get your shit together, and give me back my show that I love.

I go to Mass once a week to get my preaching fix. Quit wasting my time telling me that dog-fighting is wrong and smoking is a poor lifestyle choice. If someone questioned your commitment to such basic (that they are boring) cultural mores, then please address those concerns in private, on your own time.

If this is too much to ask, please be consistent. Wendell should get a lawyer, because, any way you excuse it, that was still sexual harassment and speaking to a (relative) stranger, as well as a student, in such a manner is utterly inappropriate.

More importantly, you made a choice at the end of last season, and even if it was a poor one, you owe it to your audience to deal with it, not back-peddle. I, in no way, enjoy being emotionally tormented, and I doubt that many people do. I, along with the characters, was coming to terms with Zack’s mistaken philosophy and immoral act, so how dare you now tell me “he didn’t actually stab that man.” Slowly reintegrating Zack into the show in a consultant capacity would have been both feasible and plausible, but attempting to expunge viewer outrage by simply negating the event that sparked the fury is utterly disrespectful. And that dinner montage scene didn’t make any sense. None.

I only say all this because there are 2 and 9/10th seasons to prove that you are better than this. I beg you to justify the faith your viewers have in you.

The TV Girl

Bones (6.5): Awkwardness in the Non-Awkwardness.

Why on earth was there an entire episode (“The Man in the Outhouse”) where Hodgins and Angela where walking around like nothing happened?

I should probably be more forgiving since the focus of the episode’s personal aspect was the impossibility of simply replacing someone you have lost with another who is capable of fulfilling the same function. I am still not happy about Zach’s absence, but I do appreciate that his previous presence is being respected.

Back to my point: the this-is-the-part-where-we-normally-kiss moment seemed overdue. Hodgins and Angela should have just been kept out of scenes together if the producers where going to delay recognizing how uncomfortable it should be for them to work together. And now that I have that gripe out of my system, can I just say how much I love angry-Hodgins! I missed the conspiracy-theory-spouting-and-tirade-prone-Hodgins, because he was way more fun than happy-Hodgins.

But how unfortunate that Mac’s last boyfriend Max (from Veronica Mars) went on to be a dog-fight-organizing murder. At least when Beaver was a guest on this show he wasn’t the murderer.

I got choked up when Brennan started crying for Ripley. I was already a little teary-eyed about Booth telling Parker than when it is for yourself you walk away but when it is for someone else you stay and fight.

The TV Girl

Bones (5): I Always Find Tiny Car Jokes Funny.

I know, it makes me kind of lame, but really I do. Totally obvious jokes about the frustrations of small vehicles make me laugh.

I have had multiple requests to comment upon the season premier of Bones. I watch Bones; I have seen every episode (since I own the first two seasons, I have seen most episodes multiple times) and I immensely enjoy it as a show. It may have been ten years since Angel suffered a burn from a cross on the chest in order to kiss Buffy, but I cannot help but love David Boreanaz. I just never write about the individual episodes as they occur, but I do write about it in Top 5 lists (for example, see below). Yet I will break with tradition, since I am a slave to my readers.

Angela and Hodgins break-up was dumb. I mean, really really, dumb. If they had come to the realization that they were concentrating too much on their wedding and not enough on their actual relationship, then I could have seen devoting airtime to such a storyline. Aside from Angela’s ex throwing Hodgins into the garbage truck, it all just felt like a waste of scenery.

Cam needs to decide if she is a boss or a friend. I have no idea when she developed Michael Scott syndrome.

I was sorry to see Clark go so quickly, I liked him (as much as was possible to do so). Even though I think meta-metaphor should be used sparingly (if ever), Clark’s desire for a “regular” lab was the best way for the producers to warn any viewer looking for a strictly clinical/procedural show about what Bones is. The personal relationships and internal struggles of the characters are what balance this show; the specific crimes that designate the episodes are so grim that it would be un-watchable without the human (for lack of a better term) “drama.”

Speaking of crime, the second dastardly deed in London was much more interesting than the first. The-American-heiress-who-accidentally-had-an-incest-love-affair just fell flat for me. I didn’t care. Would have been so much better if her brother/lover had killed her. The-grad-student-killing-her-slime-ball-professor, now that was interesting. There were enough people with a motive, and the London detective who could have been either helping or harming made for an entertaining mystery.

Booth’s compulsive need to protect Bones from being exploited was so incredibly sweet, that I want to forgive almost anything about this premier. How refreshing to see on TV a man truly want a woman to know her own worth and live her life accordingly.

Essentially, I wonder if there is anyway for this premier to be more than so-so. Because of Zach turning out to be a murderer (a choice on the producer’s part that I still struggle with) the entire dynamic of the show is distorted. The atmosphere of the show, the combination of the particular characters played by particular actors, is now distinctly different than the three seasons that have proceeded; therefore the show will feel strange and awkward to the viewer. We will have to see if that feeling persists, or if Bones can adjust and mend itself, thereby (returning to) continuing to be one of the funniest mystery shows.

What did you think?

The TV Girl