One Tree Hill (4): I Could Have Done Without That.

I haven’t written about this show in a few weeks, but I have been (kind of) watching. That is the wonderful thing about a show where nothing really happens; you do not feel terrible when real life become more important than watching TV. But the brilliant marketing department sucked me in with the trailer for this episode, which showed Lucas/Peyton reunion time.

Instead of that, Peyton got (emotionally) smacked in the face. Over the long road of Lucas/Peyton both have made huge mistakes and done hurtful things, but telling her that he hates her and that returning to Tree Hill ruined his life takes the cake. Lucas has crossed the (angsty) line between understandable grieving for the end of a relationship and wallowing in self-pity. There is no excuse for jeopardizing his job and assaulting a player. Lashing out a Peyton was unnecessary and brutal. Brokenhearted or not, there is such a thing a handling your business with dignity.

But dignity is not what One Tree Hill excels at. The shameless is this show’s forte, a fine example of which is this “Dan needs a new heart” storyline. I kind of have to applaud the producers for going out of their way to point out that the plot is a metaphor. And Dan standing menacingly over the only patient higher on the donor list than himself, implying that Dan might "euthanize" him, had to be the most ludicrous scene in the history of this show. We get it; Dan is evil. We get it; a physical heart transplant is not a personality transplant. We get it; no one running this show has ever heard the phrase “overdone.”

But a possible rival in the ludicrous competition: the Skills/Deb hook-up. Gross. Gross. Milo Ventimiglia / Haden Panettiere gross.

P.S. I totally predict a love-connection between Brooke and the Baby-Surgeon (and that actor is so familiar, but I cannot remember who he is, and it is driving me nuts).

I am looking forward to next week’s season finale, because for me this show is like candy-corn: even though I know it is bad for me I cannot help myself, and eventually I get sick to my stomach.

The TV Girl

One Tree Hill (5.5): I Draw The Line At Relay Readings of Hallmark Cards.

Aside from some initial fist on face action, this was a talking episode. Despite the torturous dialogue and the angsty overly-determined attitudes (hate to say it, but sometimes things in life just don’t work out), last night’s episode was one of those good hours of TV that sifts everything out that has been blown around by the (drama) storm.

For episodes like this, a summary is as affective as commentary. The whole episode was about evaluation of circumstances, so these are the circumstances.

Even though it is difficult, Peyton is willing to wait for Lucas. But she decided, with some help from her favorite (former) record storeowner, to still be the person she is. She is going to keep the car she loves and listen to music and run her business. I do not know what I would do if Peyton really sold her car. It would be like a whole different show.

Lucas on the other hand, with some help from his mother’s boyfriend, decided to go to New York for the purpose of winning Lindsay back. He hopes that editing his second novel together with repair their relationship. Count me as one vote for not going to happen. The book made her realize that she needed to leave him at the altar, so why would more time with said book help matters?

But according to their therapist, Nathan and Haley are going to be fine, that is if they reincorporate the things that they love (basketball and music) into their lives, which the end of the episode indicated they are attempting to do. It is as important for them to be individuals as it is for them to be a married couple and united parents. I have to say I was kind of astounded to here practical, good-sense, advice on this show. (Ten point to whomever correctly identifies the actress who played their therapist. Hint: she was a major character in an iconic 80's movie.)

And while their marriage might be on the mend, Dan is infiltrating his way into Jamie’s life, which has very little chance of ending well. Nathan and Haley should have taught their son not to keep secrets.

Brooke’s not so secret desire to be a mother hit a roadblock when she was rejected as a candidate by an adoption agency, because she is too young, single, has a demanding career, and her own mother committed total character assassination against her. I believe Brooke that she will be a mother, that nothing will stop her from getting what she wants, but I understand why the adoption agency would be less than enthused by her.

All in all, the Tree Hillers are not doing too badly. Let us see how long it lasts.

The TV Girl

One Tree Hill (5): I Could Not Have Asked For More.

When it comes to crazy no one does it quite like One Tree Hill.

Karen came back, and with Andy! You have to be a longtime watcher of this show to remember Andy, Karen’s young boyfriend that it just didn’t work out with before she realized she was in love with Keith. It would have just broken my heart if Karen never moved beyond her grief for Keith, and I cannot imagine anyone more appropriate than Andy, the man Karen came out of romantic hibernation for in the first place.

But not so much a happy ending for Lucas and Lindsey, but that is the way it goes on soapy nighttime melodramas. I do have to wonder about the strength of a relationship when fiction is more informative than conversation. If I am learning anything from this show, it is to stay the heck away from writers, they are apparently always in love with someone other than who they say they are in love with. Skills’ analysis of the Lindsey/Lucas/Peyton situation might be the funniest scene ever to appear on this show. That boy is ridiculously funny and ridiculously underused. I would not leave my kids with him, but I would have him teach them deadpan commentary.

A professor of mine once asked my class to think about the ramifications of one person saying “I do” and the other person saying “I don’t.” Brooke dismissing Peyton’s concerns that it was Lindsey that called off the marriage seemed just too blasé. Peyton is right to be reluctant to run to Lucas immediately after his being left at the alter. It matters that he said yes and Lindsey said no, and I think it shows a minor bit of maturity on Peyton’s part that she pauses over the fact. She wanted to interrupt the wedding, but she does respect the enormity of marriage.

The lack of divorce talk in this episode tells me that Peyton is not the only one taking marriage seriously. I refuse to believe that Nathan and Haley are actually going to go through with the big D, especially with their nut job ex-nanny stealing their son.

Thank the high creator that Dan shaved! He is defiantly more threatening when he looks like he could be an upstanding citizen as opposed to looking like a caricature from a silent movie. I am not entirely convinced by the Dan-is-better-than-Nanny-Carrie ploy. She is obviously unbalanced, and could have genuinely hurt Jamie, but Dan is still a murdering bastard. I am not impressed that someone would put a child’s life in danger in an attempt to be a hero, and that is exactly what Dan did.

Brooke wants to have a baby? Wow.

The TV Girl

One Tree Hill (5): I Have Been a Lousy Bridesmaid, But Haley…

I can genuinely say that I was not in any way expecting Haley to tell Lucas he should not marry Lindsey. I knew when she picked up the phone after finishing the last pages of Lucas’ new book that she was calling him and not Nathan, but I was prepared for something along the lines of “do you think I have made a mistake?” As viewers we have been given time to get to know Lindsey, so even though I do not want them to get married, because he is supposed to be with Peyton (and then we run the risk of a Dean/Rory cheating situation, which I have no interest in living though again), I think that Lucas and Lindsey as a couple are not too bad. If Lucas has really moved on, Lindsey is a decent choice. I am intrigued as to Haley’s reasoning for her proclamation.

Why does Haley seem so unconcerned with her own life? She is done trying to change Nathan? What does that really mean? Haley cannot be this defeated. Speaking for myself, it is not fair those of us who have supported them for so long. High five to Nathan for turning “Daddy is living on Uncle Lucas’ couch because he and Mommy are getting a divorce” into “Daddy is in a time out.” This is quality parenting people, take notes.

It might be wrong to point out unintentional hilarity, but I am still laughing this morning about Dan and his “date.” He told her he had a grandson, so the boundaries of age-appropriateness were already violated, but did he not look like he was just out of prison? (I have to refrain from full on mocking the facial-hair, as my bratty little soul wants to, because my oldest brother sported something very similar in a family portrait. It haunts me to this day.) Her “shocked” face should be an instructional video on YouTube: this is the slightly-constipated-like facial expression you make when you realize you just had sex with a sociopath.

Speaking of the less than talented, I would not be opposed to seeing little Chase (Steven Colletti) stick around. I am just not on board the whole Owen train. Call me a prude, but he just looks too old. It gives me a Rachel/Uncle Cooper flashbacks type of vibe.

As for Rachel, while I applaud Brooke’s heart, as a viewer I did not miss her, and do not care to see her return full time. She came in as a character to be the trampy troublemaker when Brook was growing out of that phase, but it just never really worked. Rachel never accomplished anything as a tramp (never managed to get the guy, whomever it was) and her whole self-loathing bit was way too mousey. Too bad she is a druggie, but Tree Hill is better off without her.

But, I did not realize until last night just how much I missed Lucas’ extremely pretentious voice-overs quoting the greats of literature (usually out of context). Always terrible, always amazing.

Tim and Bevin got married and had a baby? Random, very random.

All of this topsy-turvy-ness will be set to right in one week, when none other than Karen Roe returns. Oh how I have missed Moira.

The TV Girl

One Tree Hill (4.5): I Wish You Could See My Confused-Face.

I am a bit perplexed, so this will be short.

Now let me get this straight. Haley stays with Nathan when he is a drunken, non-rehabilitating, mullet sporter, and is being an all around bad father and husband. But now she wants a divorce? Jamie did not almost drown because Carrie kissed Nathan (and call me an apologist all you want, I think there is a distinction between who kisses whom). Neither Haley nor Nathan was watching Jamie; they are equally to blame for allowing their argument to supercede the safety of their child. Haley was perfectly happy a couple episodes ago to spend her time butting into others’ lives, which naturally devalued her family. I have no sympathy for her. But the idea of Haley and Nathan not being together is so strange. I am willing to give it a chance, see what they are like separate this time around. It is always so delightfully atrocious when they are broken up. What could additionally complicate matters is this specter of a possible paternity issue; I know that if your child almost dies you are prone to be possessive, but there was something in the way Haley said “my son” that struck me as another hint that the divorce may pale in comparison to the custody battle.

This Jamie based scenario (that could very well never happen on the show) was not the only daddy-issue going on last night. We were not privileged with the information either of what Nathan said at the hearing, or if Dan received parole (have to leave some material for next week). Smart money would wager Dan is a free man, but that is not a smart choice for the show. What really irked me during Lucas’ “Keith was my true father figure” speech was the fact that he failed to mention his baby sister. Karen’s daughter by Keith lost her father before she was even born. That is a rhetorical powerful argument (even if heavy on the pathos), and Lucas, the writer, the one who is supposed to know what to say, just (I do not know) forgets to mention it? To prove someone else has a disreputable ethos you have to have an impeccable ethos, and getting up in front of correctional employees and acting like you are the only one affected by an action is not the way to go. But to be fair, I am beginning to think none of these characters have ever encountered logic before, and so it is wrong of me to expect them to be aware of it, let alone use it properly.

The most illogical of all things would be to believe you could treat another’s severe drug addiction from your beach house. Brooke, hate to be the one to tell you this, but drug addicts lie to perpetuate their habit. A truly good friend would have taken Rachel to the rehabilitation facility, but stayed in New York so he/she could visit everyday. Doing the right thing does not always make us feel like a “good” person, and if that is our main concern governing our choices then we do a great disservice to those we claim to be helping.

Finally, and possibly most puzzling of all, is how unbalanced this episode was. Peyton’s “down with the man” storyline stood out as unnecessarily juvenile when interspersed with marriage dissolution, drug overdose, and near-avoided drowning. The theme of the episode was obviously “dealing with the reappearance of a person you knew in the (relative) past.” Peyton’s former boss fit into this category, but they could not dredge up someone for Peyton’s drama-dram past to give her plot some more oomph? The difference between her plot and the other characters’ was so jarring it seemed that she was being used as filler. Why treat Peyton that way?

Again, I am a bit perplexed.

The TV Girl

One Tree Hill (4.5): Oh the Meta…

I strongly considered not writing about this episode. It was entertaining, and the underlying assumption they are prosecuting ( the circumstances that develops our personality is based on those we love and who love us) rings true. As an episode, it just was not inspiring. I didn’t get that contact high of triviality that energizes me to write about One Tree Hill. I will soldier on, work through the pain.

Despite what I just said about “underlying assumption” one of the major joys of One Tree Hill is that everything is spelled out. I would be willing to apply the adjective anvilicious to this show, and I adore it. One Tree Hill does not force even a single brain cell to engage. So, I have been expecting Haley’s “this is how Lindsay and I became friends” speech. Of all the things they could have picked the whole school-shooting-chapter-of-the-book scenario is probably the least trite (if maybe the most sentimental). Haley would become attached to someone who wanted what was best for Keith. Haley may be blind to her own problems, but recounting to Peyton how she bonded with Lindsay reminds the audience why Haley is lovable, why she is the character we, and the other characters, listen to. Now if she would only turn all that insight onto herself.

I have to admit I am conflicted. I am starting to want to like Lindsay, but I have such a long-standing attachment to Peyton. It has been Peyton and Lucas for so long, and Peyton rocks so much on her own that I feel like I am cheating on her by even thinking that Lindsay may be growing on me. I am not completely sold on Lindsay, so I’m flirting at a bar, not having a nooner at a motel. While revealing Lindsay’s personal tragedy defines her as a character more than simply “Lucas’ girlfriend,” she is just too unknown/underdeveloped for me to sympathize with her particular pain. The death of a parent is a universal experience, and therefore we all naturally empathize, but Lindsay’s father had only been mentioned in two other sentences in the entire time she has been on the show. Unaware of the closeness of their relationship prevents me from feeling anything other than general connection to her situation. Finding out that her father is dead makes Lindsay sympathetic to Peyton; more important for future episodes than how I happen to feel about things. Despite all this, Peyton is Peyton, and I have been in her situation; heartbroken and daily facing the girl that got the life you wanted. It makes you say things that you never thought you were capable of, things you don’t want to say, but you cannot seem to stop yourself. You are so hurt that as hard as you try to do the right thing you always end up doing the wrong thing. My personal situation healed years ago, but watching Peyton try and fail, try and fail, and eventually lash out like a child I could not help remembering how crappy it is from that perspective. You see, I am conflicted: new acquaintance with the dead daddy or the old friend with the shattered heart?

And I do not seem to be the only one comparing the old and the new. Nathan isn’t so much comparing as caught, and I have to give him a high-five for recognizing that honesty with his wife will be better in the long run than evasion. I know that we have not seen the last of Nanny Carrie, but can we all just take a moment to congratulate a man who recognizes his own failings and determines to do better. With all this in mind, I have to ask seriously; are they hinting that Jamie is Lucas’ son? Making a point of saying Haley and Lucas never slept together? Making a point of saying that Jamie looks exactly like Lucas. It seems too obviously insinuated that the (utterly adorable) little kid may be mistaking daddy for uncle (how Arrested Development). There is very little this show won’t do, so let us all entertain the possibility that the nice Nathan/Lucas brotherhood may be soon ending over a paternity issue.

And in conclusion: Tim has always, always given me the creeps. Not because of his homoerotic crush on Nathan, but because of the stalker quality to it. Time has not changed my feelings about Tim. No more cameos.

The TV Girl

One Tree Hill (5): Not Bad, For a Transition.

On any TV show there are some episodes which function mainly to get the viewer from exciting and dramatic plot point A to exciting and dramatic plot point B. There is a kind of choral aspect to them: characters rehash previous or recent events which reminds the viewers what has occurred over the course of the show; the emphasis of dramatic irony is placed on situations the characters perpetuate through inaction or repetitive action (the purgatorial necessity of waiting); minor stories wrap up and move into different territory; and by letting everything percolate we all prepare for the next arc.

I think transition episodes are wonderful. As a viewer you get the chance to catch your breath (assuming the show moves at a fast pace and has a great deal of detail, neither of which apply to OTH) or simply laze about with characters with which you are familiar, remembering the good times and smiling indulgently at their foibles. And there are some worthwhile moments that take place while things stew.

For instance, Mouth finding out that Alice the Cougar was the best indoor sport for miles around (I got this phrase from a professor of mine and I couldn’t help myself from using it). I will pass along some advice KP gave to me: get tested. Alice got it on with every male in that news station, therefore Mouth did too. I will not stand for charmingly awkward Millie catching something nasty down there because she gives Mouth a second chance. Forgiveness should be repaid with gratitude, not STDs.

And who says TV is not instructional? Haley did a wonderful job last night reminding us all about that Biblical mandate to worry about he plank in your own eye before the splinter in your neighbor’s. All of her unsolicited advice on marriage and being a good person in general sounded ridiculous considering that Nanny Carrie kissed Nathan. Nathan is not the brightest bulb (should have fired her before she kissed you buddy), but he is trying to deal with a really uncomfortable situation to the best of his ability. Haley is supposed to be the diligent and keen-eyed one in their marriage, but she is so busy getting in everyone else’s faces that her home is turning in The Hand That Rocks the Cradle. I wonder if I will have much sympathy for her when this all explodes.

Let us hope this inevitable explosion takes place during the Lucas/Lindsay nuptials. That would be entertaining. There was a "left at the alter" scenario back in Season Two, so I’m not placing my money on Lucas or Lindsay not showing up to the blissful event, but this is OTH; no public event takes place without a public catastrophe. And let no one deny that Peyton Sawyer knows how to loose the battle but win the war. She sincerely meant everything she said last night about letting Lucas go and allowing him to be happy in his choices, because Peyton can be a bitch, but she isn’t deceitful. At the same time, could she have made a more persuasive case to Lucas than to compare him and her to Keith and Karen (whom I dearly miss, and am very sure would stop Lucas from marrying Lindsay)? I am not accusing her of manipulation, the universe is on Peyton’s side even if Haley isn’t, and her genuine sentiment will make the truth even easier for Lucas to see…eventually.

Final Note: There were so many structural inconsistencies in this episode I am starting to think this show does not employ a story-editor. I openly offer my services because it is getting pathetic.

The TV Girl

One Tree Hill (4.5): Zac Efron Bangs, Attack!

Oh. My. Side-Swept. Goodness. When the featured band, which after the hideously placed “this is who we are in a symbiotic endorsement relationship with this week” (hence the drop on my rating scale) I will not name, took the stage on One Tree Hill last night I was transfixed. Not by their amazing emotive skills. By their hair. Only unattended babies necks’ should lob around that much. When you cannot see the strings of the guitar you are un-impressing your audience with, get a hair cut or buy a head-band.

I’m better now.

Little Brooke Davis, you are the cutest thing. The acting on this show is, shall we say, limited, but Sophia Bush gets major kudos for staying on her appointed message of "overly-confident-girl." Her take-no-prisoners pursuit of Owen the Bartender should have been cloying, but she was so committed to it that it was adorable. His respectful rejection of her was nice; he reassured her she won’t turn into her mother, the evil cougar, but he notified her of the age inappropriateness of their coupling. The world is always better when good bartenders are around.

Evil Nannies, on the other hand, only destroy. Haley, wake up and smell the skank. Foiling K-Fed’s plot for world domination through uninspired music is a noble cause, but there is an alcoholic home-wrecker taking care of your son. No more ironic one-liners; take control of your house.

It looks like another couple is making their way towards martial dis-function. I knew that the show muckity-mucks had plans for a wedding in the season finale, and considering where the show is at, Lucas and Lindsay was the only logical possibility, but this is OTH; when did logic enter in? I am going to ask a question I have asked myself about my wonderful Battlestar Galactica: what kind of woman marries a man she knows is in love with another woman? Life and love aren’t complicated and difficult enough you have to set yourself up for failure consciously? (In BSG-land, I am talking about Dualla, whom I hate so, so, so much I have no pity for her pain. Go Lee and Kara!) I cannot imagine having so little self-worth as to accept such a proposal, but that is just me. On TV women do it all the time. The matching leaden-eyed delivery of their news to Peyton does not indicate future bliss.

And finally, just as a female, I hope precious Millie gets her revenge on Mouth.

The Strike is officially over. I bring this up, not only because it is good information to have, but also a few days ago KP commented that she could not wait for the end of WS 2007/8 so that she could stop watching One Tree Hill. I kind of chuckled to myself. There will not be new episodes of any returning favorites until at least April, some will not be back until Fall 2008 (for an updated schedule: Watch With Kristin, E!Online). What we have is what we get: the last eps of a few good shows, OTH, and “reality” in all its fake glory. Lent is over but it is going to be a long Good Friday.

The TV Girl

One Tree Hill (5): I Can Never Figure Out What Day It Is On This Show

My confusion is an editing problem. There seem to be things that take place midway through the episode that should be taking place in the morning, or the characters wear the same clothing for what appear to be multiple days. It distracts me and those in charge should fix it. This has been a problem since the beginning of One Tree Hill, so I should be used to it by now.

Brooke’s mom may be a witch, but what an awesome witch. Brooke should have known better than to try to connect with a woman who seems barely able to restrain herself from saying “you were an accident.” As ill advised as her overture may have been, it worked well to remind us that Brooke and Co. are still very young. At 21 you are still trying to figure out your relationship with your parents, and Brooke’s success can only make the situation more complicated. The parent/child relationships were kind of the foundation of this show; Lucas and Nathan hated each other because they share a father who picked one over the other, Lucas’ relationship with his mom Karen (the missed Moira Kelly) contrasted with Nathan’s relationship with his mom Deb (the not-so missed Barbra Alyn Woods), Brooke and Peyton both had absent parents, and Peyton’s grief over her mother’s death (and then her second mother’s death) is a fundamental of her character. I understand allowing these storylines to grow, to show the transformation of children into parents, but without Brooke’s mom as a reminder of where we started it would feel too much like a completely different show.

While I’m on the topic of parenting (or lack thereof), oh crazy nanny. I don’t think Lindsay is going to keep her mouth shut about Nanny Carrie’s little passive-aggressive revelation. Nathan defiantly stayed out on that balcony too long, but I don’t think Nathan is so stupid that he doesn’t see what this girl is all about. The long and short is that Nathan will not cheat. Nathan and Haley are obviously distant (I think that kiss at the end of last week’s episode was their first physical contact since his accident), but no matter what happens, he won’t cheat. I predict his rejection is what will push Nanny Carrie off the deep end.

Can I take a moment to gloat that I was able to predict dialogue. … Thank you. Peyton has every right to be angry, and I clapped for every single book she threw at Lucas’ stupid head. Why did they both assume that after the way they ended, and the not talking, that they would be able to magically be friends? He is still holding on to the ring he wanted to give her, and she doesn’t seem to have dated anyone since him. Friendship between them would take a great deal of time and effort on both their parts. What is with all of these people trying to put on a front, and for whom? Peyton needs to embrace her honest nature, and not let anyone tell her she should like Lindsay. Anger is so much more entertaining than winning.

The TV Girl

One Tree Hill (4.5): Lets Do the Time Warp.

I have moved from vaguely annoyed to irate. Last night’s episode was a continuous flash back taking place three years before the present action; those college years between Season Four and Season Five. We learned many interesting things, but it was difficult for me to pay attention to any of it for one reason. THE I-PHONE DID NOT EXIST THREE YEARS AGO! If it did, it was a proto-type in a test-center somewhere in California, not available for retail sale to assistant basketball coaches.

This show has always been flexible with time, so now I have to go through a chronological comparison. Seasons One and Two equaled one year of time (their junior year of high school), and Seasons Three and Four were one more year (their senior year). Therefore, the year on the show would actually be two years behind real time. The graduation episode aired in May 2007, but according to their internal timeline they would have been the class of 2005. Skipping over four years would make it 2009 for them. A flash back from 2009 to three years before would make it 2006. Therefore, NO I-PHONE! If someone wants to claim that their graduation date should be counted in real time (2007), then skipping ahead four years would make it 2011, and a three year flashback would take place in 2008. If this were true, then it would be conceivable that Lucas would own an i-Phone. But for this to be true, the premier of OTH would have to be set two years ahead of its real time air-date, which I don’t believe happened. I want someone fired over this. It is more than sloppy; it is an unbelievably unnecessary error. I understand that shows receive funding from companies, but when they use a product that has a very definite (and well publicized) release date, they destroy the suspension of disbelief. There will always be a viewer cranky enough to go through all the logistics I have to figure out what year it should be on the show in comparison to what year it is in reality-land. I could have spent this time dissecting the actual episode, I could have enjoyed the episode, but I was, and am, so irritated that I have been propelled down this thought path in the first place because someone is not paying enough attention to their job.

Okay, I’ve taken a few deep breaths, and can move on. I got the answer to my question from last week. We know what happened between Peyton and Lucas, and I have to wonder if she isn’t better off without him. First of all, you don’t propose because everyone around you is married. Second, you don’t propose because you feel like you are drifting away from each other. Third, and most importantly, if the one you propose to have perfectly legitimate reasons for saying “not now” (which is not the same as “no”), reasons like age, lack of defined careers or finished education, and conflicting opinions on where to live, then you listen to that person and respect their position, but you stick it out and fight for them. How is it possible that Lucas thought he wanted to be engaged immediately when at the first sign of difficulty he completely bailed on Peyton? Of course there is a male-ego thing involved here, but what a pansy! Who gives up like that? Why would she say yes to someone who behaves that way? Throwing your hands up like a total bitch means that your proposal wasn’t genuine in the first place, so you get no sympathy. (Side-note: now that we know Lucas was the one who gave Lindsay the bamboo in the first place, Lindsay giving it to Peyton is passive-aggressive BS.)

Apparently I’m mad about more than the chronology, but there is always next week. I am hopeful that Brooke gets a new love-interest soon, because I would hate to see her reduced to the meta-narrator. And I am eagerly awaiting the reveal that the nanny is bonkers.

The TV Girl

One Tree Hill (5.5): Sexual Favors for Career Advancement, That Can’t Be Right?

I have followed the Tree Hillers fairly consistently, but not with utter devotion, since they arrived four seasons ago. If your looking for soapy drama, you could do worse. I am really impressed that the show creators had enough sense to skip over college, where most teen-based shows meet their very grizzly demise. Since it is one of the few shows on with a new episode that isn’t the very hated humiliation fest on Fox, there is no harm in talking about it.

We all should pause and bask in the glory that is K-Fed on primetime. Actor the guy is not, but I am wondering if he was actually singing, because if so, he could be a fairly pedestrian alt/rock singer. Anyone get a Daughtery vibe? This is not to endorse him as a visionary talent, just saying that rap might not have been his forte, and don’t we all deserve a second chance?

I have believed for a while, and now I am convinced that Skills (Antwon Tanner) is one of the overlooked comic geniuses of TV. There is nothing brilliant about his lines, but his delivery is phenomenal. More screen time for him would do wonders to balance the melodrama, which thankfully has toned down this season, but more Skills couldn’t hurt. Bring on the funny.

I have to wonder with Haley (Bethany Joy Galeotti); was Nathan (James Lafferty) trying to bring back the mullet? Doesn’t matter now, but what would it have been like if the show went in that direction? Maybe the return of Uncle Cooper (Michael Trucco) and the NASCAR circuit?

I have rooted for Lucas (Chad Michael Murray) and Peyton (Hilarie Burton) from moment one. I never like Lucas and Brooke (Sophia Bush), and didn’t watch the show during the actors’ real-life divorce because it just seemed weird and voyeuristic. Did I miss the moment when they explained why Peyton and Lucas aren’t together anymore? Am I simply to understand “life took them in separate directions?” Or is the marriage proposal teaser really a flashback? Since I have no doubt that Lindsey (couldn’t find her name on IMBd) will be out of the picture in the relatively near future, Lucas and Peyton will be reunited, and all will be righted in the One Tree world, I hope Lindsay goes out with some fireworks. I don’t know, fake pregnancy, uber-crazy destructive meltdown, arson, death, whatever. I don't want the melodrama to completely disappear. I hate seeing Peyton and Lucas apart, but I love the road to reconciliation.

But what must be addressed, more than maybe anything that transpired between 8 and 9 PM CTZ on The CW Network, is the horribly clique but fantastic Mouth (Lee Norris) and his boss storyline. Lets all say it together: sexual harassment lawsuit. This may be filed by Mouth when he eventually gets fired, or by the as yet unnamed coworker who gets beaten out for a job because the other guy is doing the boss. Either way, I am waiting with baited breath for this courtroom battle. And I don’t know if my reception is bad, but Alice (also not on IMBd) is not that hot, and doesn’t really look old enough to qualify as a cougar, but I’m splitting hairs. Mouth should know that having sex with the boss never ends well. I think it’s going to be fun to watch him learn his lesson.

Shout Outs:
Little Things to Know That Make Watching Better

This might not be fair, since he hasn’t been on the show since the beginning of the fourth season, but I mentioned Nathan’s Uncle Cooper, who is none other than the detested Sam Anders on Battlestar Galactica. As far a quality of show goes, he’s moved up in the world (even out to others worlds, hehehe), but quality of character is a whole other issue.

Final Thoughts:

I know I have seen the actress playing Lindsey, but I couldn’t find her name, and I can’t remember where I saw her. It’s driving me nuts.

The TV Girl