quarterlife (0): Not All Experiments Are Successful.

Maybe I have been watching Ratatouille too often, but I decided to go out on limb, try something new. It is not that I am unwilling to try new shows (I watched just about everything that premiered in the fall), it is just that I am tired of falling in love and being disappointed by unnecessary cancellation. But when I heard a rumor that the web-based show quarterlife (I did not forget to capitalize this word, this is how is looks on the web site) featured none other than Majandra Delfino (you know, freaking Maria from Roswell) I had to give it a try. I missed its network television premier on Tuesday, but I had an hour to kill Friday afternoon. There doesn’t seem to be much danger of my falling in love, and cancellation may be for the best.

I learned two things. First of all, Majandra is not in the Pilot episode. Disappointing, and based on the second thing I learned, I may not stick with this show to see her when she shows up (according to IMDb she is in 5 of 6 episodes, so I can only assume she is in the next).

The second thing I learned, and this is ironic, is that twenty-five year olds blogging is extremely annoying. I am only twenty-four, so I have about six more months before I become extremely annoying. The premise of the show is that the main character Dylan (Bitsie Tulloch) begins a video blog on a beta site called, you guessed it, “quarterlife.” While she calls herself a writer, Dylan does not seem to have a single creative idea in her finely structured head, so she talks about her friends. This serves the technical purpose of introducing the audience to the other characters, but it makes Dylan weak and repugnant right off the bat, and it smacks of laziness on the part of the show’s writers. Furthermore, Dylan’s assessment of her friends is self-righteous and immature. She says she “sees what other really feel,” which seems unlikely, since she doesn’t manage to see much outside of herself, and her dislike of those around her. She operates on the assumption that calling yourself an artist or a writer absolves you of any moral obligation to those who may be affected by your choices. And while she has every right to her opinion about her friends, she really has no right to post it on the Internet. (I only talk about my friends’ taste in shows, there is a difference.) She demands that her friends raise awareness of hybrid cars and she cannot manage to run a comb through her hair. Who at the age of twenty-five thinks it is appropriate to go to work, at a place that seems to be career oriented, looking like a ragamuffin? I admit there are days I have gone to work looking less than stellar, but honestly! According to Lisa (Maitie Schwartz) the nymphomaniac, Dylan is a strong woman because she can give herself an orgasm. Somehow I have missed the logic leap the show took to reach this conclusion. Apparently in reaction to men defining women according to their sexual significance, women will do so for them. Whether you objectify yourself or let someone else do it, you are still an object. But, good for Dylan for having a least one talent.

Before I choke on my own hypocrisy (critiquing something for being overly critical), I will warp this up. Quarterlife takes all of the awkward and difficult parts of the post-college but pre-marriage/children/home time, but manages to present the difficulty as the glory, instead of addressing the difficulty as difficulty. Similarly to the age range the show centers around quarterlife is neither engaging fluff nor compelling drama. It just is until it is over.

The TV Girl